In today's highly connected society parents are torn between two opposing needs. How can we prepare our children with skills that help them master high-tech Internet-based communications while the Internet is full of bad people who want to take advantage of the innocent?
On one hand we want our children to grow up to be comfortable with technology so they can focus on achieving the great things that these advances in productivity enable. But, connectivity comes with risk, just like the first time your parents had to deal with the prospect of cable TV. Wasn't it great to have all of these new TV channels? But what about those movies on Cinemax and HBO? With the steady march of progress come new opportunities to embrace, and potential new risks for our children.
The first thing to acknowledge is that parenting still matters. It always has and always will. Your instincts are the best protection your child has. So, first rule of Internet safety is be a good parent. This means you must know your child; what they are ready to learn, how much responsibility can they take on, can you trust your child?
Ultimately, your child is the last line of defense. Just because your computer is locked-down at home doesn't mean he or she won't find a way to get online at the library or at a friend's house. Nevertheless, you should set guidelines for Internet use at home. This article from the national PTA has some great guidelines and policies you should consider using in your home.
You must also recognize your own limitations. Ignorance is no excuse for not protecting your child. If you need help understanding something, then ask a friend; someone at your PTA, or school for help. Don't abdicate responsibility to one of your kids "who takes care of all of our computers because I don't know a thing about them!" A child left offline is safer than one online when no one is looking out for them.
There are also a number of tools and programs you can use with your computer to make it safer for your children. To understand these let's group them by risks.
Browsing the Internet
The browser is an amazing tool. You can shop at an online store and have your product delivered right to your front porch, join a worldwide discussion forum with people who have the same interest as you, or learn about some new subject; all through the browser. But not only is it easier for you to connect with anyone globally it is also easier for anyone to connect with your child.
The obvious risks here are numerous; pornographic sites, unscrupulous businesses trying to separate you from your money, thieves trying to hijack your computer for their own nefarious uses, and (worse of all) pedophiles trolling for young, innocent children.
Tools for addressing these risks:
Use a safe Internet browser. The browser that comes with the computer you purchased, Microsoft Internet Explorer, is not safe for use by your child. The numerous exploits that can cause your computer to be taken over by spyware or hackers can easily be thwarted by simply not using Internet Explorer. Also, most of the pop-up advertising that annoys all of us is something you don't have to put up with when using Mozilla Firefox.
Recommendation: Use the Mozilla Firefox browser. None of my children are allowed to use Internet Explorer. I have to use it for some things I do at my job and my wife needs to test web pages with it as well. But, our family's default browser is Firefox. We have never once had a case of spyware run on our computers; never.
Use internet filtering software such as Symantec's Norton Internet Security. These programs stop browsers from visiting inappropriate websites and are very effective.
Set your child's browser home page to a website made for young children like Yahooligans. This site provides links to resources children can explore and provide a search capability that is safe and will not show links to adult sites.
Instant Messaging
Instant messaging, or IM, is lots of fun. Whoever said the Internet is causing people not to connect with other people has never used IM. We connect with family and friends more often now than we ever did before. I find it amusing to learn things about my mother from her grandchildren (my kids) who are only a couple clicks away from communicating with Grandma.
However, you don't want just anyone to send your child instant messages. Fortunately, all popular IM programs have a "whitelist" feature. A whitelist is a list of people who is allowed to communicate with you. With IM the simplest form of whitelist is the setting that only allows people on your buddy list (that window that tracks who's online) to send you messages. Make sure that setting is enabled on your child's IM program.
To see how this is done with Yahoo! Messenger read this page (scroll down to the section that describes the option "Ignore anyone who is not on my Messenger List".
I am a technology advocate (what an understatement) and do my best to help people make better use of computers and the Internet. So it pains me to advise parents to not allow their children to use email until they are at least 13 years old.
If you want to allow your child to use email at a younger age you need to find an email program that enables a whitelist feature, like what I described above with IM. Some Internet services like MSN or AOL may provide this. In my opinion, there are no good packages you can purchased for your home computer that provides a sufficient amount of email protection for your children. The primary focus for these programs are preventing email spam, not protecting your child.
Recommendation: Set your child up with IM and don't even mention email. They won't notice (seriously).
Installing Software on the Family Computer
If you are successful in building your child's computer and Internet skills they will inevitably feel confident in their abilities. However, no matter how smart your child thinks they are do not allow them to install any software (that includes screensavers too) on your family computer until they are adults. When your child wants to install some new software use this as an opportunity to talk about computer safety and other topics such as the need to respect software licenses. Also, next time you install software have them beside you and explain what you are doing.
Some other practical advice:
Install virus protection software and keep it up to date. I like AVG free anti-virus software from Grisoft. In addition to being free for non-commercial use, it also installs quickly and updates itself automatically every night. I have used anti-virus products for years from McAfee and Symantec. The AVG product is, by far, the easiest to manage and you can't beat the price for home use.
Periodically scan your computer with anti-spyware software like Ad-Aware from Lavasoft. It is free for non-commercial use and will find any spyware that may have installed itself on your computer. If you don't run Internet Explorer and don't load any unknown attachments in email then, chances are, you won't need this. In any case, Ad-Aware can provide peace of mind knowing your computer is free of spyware.
Use a firewall. This is a piece of software that runs on your computer or a piece of hardware that stands between your computer and the Internet.
I prefer hardware firewalls since they cannot be compromised by software running on the computer. Simply plugging this in between your computer and your Internet connection saves you from the thousands of attacks that can come from the Internet. Without a firewall, of some sort, the chances your computer will be compromised at some point goes up significantly. I like D-Link products like this wired router/firewall or this wireless router/firewall.
Keep your software updated because it is written by humans so mistakes are bound to happen. Use the Microsoft Update service and let it download and install software updates automatically. Do the same for all of your software if it has the option.
A monthly checklist
Here is a simple monthly checklist of tasks you should do for safe family computing and Internet usage:
Make sure your operating system software is up to date. Check with Microsoft Update to see if there are any critical software upgrades. Better yet, let Windows XP download and install these updates for you automatically.
Make sure your virus protection is up to date. My recommended packages, AVG from Grisoft, takes care of this for you.
Update your spyware program. Ad-aware will periodically ask to update itself. Then use it to scan your computer for spyware.
Check your child's IM program so it is only accepting messages from people on their buddy list.
Make a backup copy of your important data. This can be as simple as copying files to another computer in your house (if you have one) or burning a CD-Rom and storing it in another room. If you use MSN Money or Quicken for online money management then consider having these files automatically backed-up offline with services like @Backup. This service is inexpensive, safe, and easy to use.